Homeschooling LB, DD, and JJ is a radiant journey and gift from God. I love watching them sparkle. I love watching the connect a circuit. I love watching them ingest books. I love them standing on tippy toes reaching for a new “can do.”
Yet, regardless of the focus on the “now” and the “rest” and the “learning from peace” we still fall into the same old trap every other family falls into. And yet, I am more able to step back and yank the reins. Pull us back into the journey and peace. I am fallible. I fall. I fail. I curse. I become anxious. They become anxious.
We all have tricks. I say the “Memorare” over and over. I have a three-fold prayer to slow down and humble myself. To focus. What do you do? Brew and steep tea? Stop, grab books and blankets, and snuggle up? I am finding that homeschool moms and moms in general fall into two categories; either they feel badly that they are not “doing” enough or they fume secretly at the mom who posted something cool her kids did that day. We tend to also be a tortoise or a hare. Now, I have a rodent and tortoise in the house – both exceedingly scrappy – so I know that of which I speak. Can you be part of each… like a half Coke, half cherry Slurpie?
After all the life, all the school, all the brick and mortar teaching, all the babies, moopie husband moments, and fall to my knees with brokenness moments… I just know that so much time has slipped by me. So much has been given to me. I long to hold each grain of sand longer. If that means no vacations. No insurance. Food from cans and creative cooking, than I am all in. In the end I will look back and remember the moments of sparks of learning and connection far more than I will remember Donald and Mickey. And to be honest, those giant animated-suit creatures freak me out.